Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I am resisting a post about the police around these parts. They're an easy target - much like the people they deal with while using some downright peculiar law enforcement methods. I'd only hope that, if I'm ever feeling a little unbalanced one day and find myself driving the wrong way down the A63, abandon my vehicle and start brandishing, in the paraphrased words of assistant chief constable John Crosse, "sword type weapons", that they shoot me in the legs or arms rather than shooting me dead. But let's not go there.

Glancing around for a spot of light relief, I see that Graham Norton is already defending upcoming reality pants Strictly Dance Fever. But in the course of locking horns with harsh critic Terry Wogan (erm...yes, cos he's never been responsible for god-awful TV, has he?) Norton's said at least one funny thing. Talking about the Pop Idol-style auditions for the show, which will be populated by so-called "regular people", the old So and So says..."One woman came in and had a bit of a funny look on her face. Then suddenly she vomited into her hand, ate it and carried on dancing." I like the sound of this show. It is, apparently, the official warm-up for Dr Who.

Cars. Who'd have 'em? In the course of a month, someone has trashed one side of my vehicle, I've had a flat tyre, last night my recently replaced windscreen suffered a rather drastic stone-chip and, in a rare moment of in-car audio volume down quiet, I noticed that my exhaust sounded ready for collapse. Further inspection revealed a rather hefty chunk of metal dangling loose. As things usually comply to the law of threes, at least two more disasters will strike my car. It's going in soon to have the accident damage glued back together. Maybe It'd be easier if I just drove it off a cliff? But, no doubt, halfway down I'd spot a trained police marksman pointing his weapon at me and wondering why I'm not stopping. It's gravity, you fool!

Got some early notes re act one of the script - plenty of food for thought. Also had a message that some actors want to perform "some of my stuff" above a pub - which is quite nice. Feel like I'm on a creative rollercoaster at the moment - nauseating, frightening but equally exciting and exhilarating. Sorry about the - hyphens. I was out reviewing a kid's show early last night. Nick Lane's Snow White in York, which was all rather sweet. Sadly, or perhaps not, I'm growing increasingly tired and weary of my role a critic. As I've said several times before, I feel the end is nigh. It's served its purpose but I need to move on.

Consuming: Futurama, Series 4. Little Barrie - We Are Little Barrie. Dipping in and out of like a fool: Ed Sikov - Mr Strangelove, Bruce Thomas - Bruce Lee: Fighting Spirit.

No comments: