Classic Jeremy Vine on Radio 2. The subject? Catching your teenage son viewing porn on the internet. Jeremy said: "If you catch them at it, what do you do? Do you laugh, cry, confront them or just walk on by and pretend you didn't see a thing?" He had read a Rough Guide to Internet Porn as part of his research and asked the listener "Do you check for a pop-up and look at the bookmarks and the history in your web browser?"
Jeremy had two guests - one was a mother who had realised her son was surfing for filth when she did a Google search and dirty words were suggested to her. Another woman was there to suggest that "it's perfectly normal, love, he's just becoming a man". The latter accused the former of having hang-ups about porn in general and suggested that it was fine for the son and his mates to all gather round the monitor and admire smutty mpegs as long as nobody was getting hurt, abused or being forced to appear against their will to be coated in the seminal fluid of an animal. "But how do I know that people aren't being hurt if I don't know what he's looking at?" said the anxious mother, who was a bit daft, given that if she was that concerned she could just cancel the account. "It really is normal behaviour," Mrs Liberal added, "for any 14-year-old to do this, including my husband." Thus creating the impression that she had married a child.
Meanwhile Mrs I Don't Know The First Thing About the Net I Just Know I Don't Want My Son On The Sex Offenders Register started talking about a mysterious and very intelligent pop-up box that had appeared on her mum's PC after the lad had been getting his fix of tits and ass. "It said to my mother if she continued to look at this material her job and her marriage would be at risk. That's when I asked him to stop looking at porn, as I realised it was serious." Bizarre. It was very difficult to tear myself away from all this and go to do the shopping at Asda.
Was in one of those Scoop & Weigh shops attempting to calculate whether it really was any cheaper to buy the Fairy wash powder loose when I overheard, I think, some casual racism from the woman behind the counter, who was on the phone. "No, that's not for us, it will be for them that live above the shop." Pause while she pulled a face. "Well, they are foreign."
Listening: Dixie Chicks - Godspeed
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