Shock at the checkouts...

Christmas shopping. The streets were busy-ish but the checkouts were hardly the scrum I've experienced in the past at this time of year. Just as well, as I had a stinking hangover and was barely a functioning human today. I gathered my thoughts mid-way through the exercise over a Cornish Pasty from Greggs and a listen to Hull City's 1-4 defeat to Sunderland. Then, covered in flaky pastry, I was back to it. In Boots, the woman on the till gave me a free gift bag that went with my purchases. "I like that bag, I'll try and take one home to put some presents in. I may have to wink at the boss to get one," she said, then demonstrated the winking approach that she would use, a really terrible look that involved both eyes being scrunched up and a contorted face. "You might want to work on that wink," I pointed out. "Yes," she said, "I realise that I look a bit like a spastic when I do that." Blimey.