In search of Cheshire...

Fancied melted cheese on toast. For me, the cheese to melt has to be Cheshire, which takes on a whole new, exciting and extremely tasty life when popped under the grill. So we went to the shop around the corner where, unsurprisingly because this is Hull, there was no Cheshire cheese in the cheese section. Instead, there was mild cheddar, strong cheddar, extra strong cheddar, red Leicester, double Gloucester, a few bits of Brie, soft cheese in tubes and tubs and triangles, the usual small sacks of Babybell, those inexplicable cheese strings and some stuff that was described on the label only as 'coloured cheese'. So I asked if they had any Cheshire in stock. "No. I don't like it. So we don't sell it." "What, you only stock the food you personally like?" "Yes. What's wrong with that? My mother hated Cheshire cheese and we were never allowed it and now I feel the same." We were going to buy some other things, but because my mother hates shops that don't stock Cheshire cheese and now I feel the same we put the other things back. We visited two other shops around the corner. There is definitely an anti-Cheshire sentiment in the neighbourhood because they didn't stock any Cheshire either. I can only think that the woman from the first shop holds some strange sway over other shopkeepers.

Such bargains to be had...

It doesn't hurt to stroll in to B&M Bargains once in a while. I've blogged before about the miracles of this place - a veritable Aladdin's cave of, well, rather odd things at the kind of prices that make you think that it wouldn't hurt to buy just one, or two, or three...

So we bought some shit. Including a big tin of meatballs in gravy to satisfy my meaty desires when vegetarians M and Finn aren't looking, and a rather limp looking but huge slab of flapjack. Mesmerised by other goodies, and figuring that, whoever you are, you're as keen to bag a grim and slightly out-of-date looking bargain as I am, I've selected four items currently stocked by B&M to highlight. Here goes. For those that enjoy Spam but don't like paying fancy prices, I think that Midland's no-nonsense Pork Loaf might be up your street. I especially like the fancy serving suggestion on the white-space a-go-go tin. Regard:


Still on food, if, like me, you've got through your festive pickles, Big Al is about to become your best friend. Look at the size of this baby (at just £1.79) and its crunchy contents:


It's not just food down at B&M. Oh no. There are some items that wouldn't look out of place on QVC. One such is the Ultimate Lint Roller which, amazingly, requires no refills!

And if that doesn't tickle your fancy, why not go for the awesome Table Mate II, the second generation of the Ultimate Portable Table (surely a laptop-friendly must for those bloggers and tweeters who can't tear themselves away from the comfort of the sofa?)!

When the Easter bunny heads back to its warren...

...TK Maxx flogs off its relatives. How vulgar are these things? Any wonder they ended up in this cut price haven or, in TK Maxx's words, this "unstoppable combo of experience and close relationships with famous label manufacturers and top designers"? After I'd taken the pic on my phone I turned around to see lots of women in strange floral print 'designer' label dresses that were on the cusp of fashionable four or five seasons ago staring at me as if I were insulting them and their adoration of the Pilates Deluxe Kits and artisan crafted glassware that fills the rest of the store.

3 for 2 shit...

A walk into town to dust off the proverbial cobwebs and all of the other cliches that had coated us over the last couple of days. There was something of a throng in town, as people clamored to buy the shit that nobody bothered to buy before Christmas and, thus, was shit that had been reduced in price. Boots had an especially large mound of this stuff - risotto-making kits, bottles of funny coloured oils, 'exotic' coffee in extravagant packaging. Even at half price and 3 for 2, there was still no disguising the utter shitness of these products. Not the kind of produce that will get this country back on its feet.

Of course, I'm not above a bargain myself and, when I was in Asda tonight, found myself purchasing the Stones/Scorsese jam Shine A Light. I am watching it now, while a short film script waiting to be broken down into something shootable sits alongside me suffering from neglect.