Bee here now - agitation and propaganda...

I fear that the play that I need to get cracking on any day/week/month soon will become some tedious lump of agitprop due to my state of mind. Blame the credit crunch, blame rising fuel prices, blame Northern Rock, blame Taylor Wimpey, blame the debt collectors, blame the Inland Revenue, blame materialism, blame capitalism, blame 9/11, 7/7, Afghanistan, Iraq 'n' Mugabe, blame Gordon Brown, blame David fucking Davis, blame the disappearing honey bees. The whole shebang's going tits up. And I wish I'd not read anything about the Large Hadron Collider. Nor watched Doctor Who last night. The end of the world is nigh! And I'm feeling somewhat disturbed, confused and in something of a panic about it all. I like what Bob Lefsetz said at the end of last week. Saves me from writing similar stuff.

Listening: Kings of Leon - Because of the Times / MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

Star fish...

Hot on the heels of his March success, Finn secured his second swimming qualification today and his trunks can now be emblazoned with the Starfish 2 badge, while the certificate will be going in his Record of Achievement. Hurrah!

Listening: The Subways - All or Nothing

Independent party...

How did we spend the evening of Independence Day? Why, at a surprise, 60s-themed party at The Big Coffee. Which didn't, despite the name, involve the consumption of coffee at all. Nor is it big. There were, however, plenty of instances of the word 'the' throughout the evening. Although I wasn't counting so can't tell you how many.

Listening: Dirty Pretty Things - Romance At Short Notice

Ce...leb...ri...ty...Ma...

Argh, bloody BBC iPlayer. Or maybe it's tonight's wi-fi broadband experience. Suffice to say that, as I sit here attempting to watch Celebrity MasterChef, my experience is ruined because it is only playing four syllables-worth of kitchen-based action at a time. And no wonder that David Platt went off the rails - his stepfather (otherwise known as the actor Sean Wilson) appears to have been buggering about perfecting his French food technique for several years.

Listening: Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend / Dizzee Rascal - That's Not My Name (Live Lounge)

Friends...

Occasionally, people find themselves in unfortunate positions. But imagine if the following fate had befallen you:

Hopping mad...

I enjoyed reading this the other day. Especially "invisibility is a super power".

I was sorting through my badly organised filing system and came across a letter someone wrote to me back in January. "If you were to write a sequel," it goes, "you could call it 'On Another Shout'."

I was in Tesco at lunch and, within seconds of entering the store, was accosted by one of their employees. "Do you have a Tesco club card?" "No, I'm not interested and I have an issue with your employer wanting to share my personal details and buying habits across its companies." "So you don't really shop in Tesco?" "I didn't say that. I'm in here all of the time thanks to your two-for-one deals on Ginsters pasties and your very affordable baby wipes. I said I have an issue with the concept of your club cards." "Okay sir, that's fine, you don't have to have one." That's good news. If only they didn't have to keep asking me whether I had one. Funny thing on Doo You about the cards - apparently, they provide "Tesco with information on customers hopping habits etc."

Stranger on the shore...

Had fun with these two and a few others on Saturday. Now? To the edit suite!