Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The Yaris has returned to daddy. I had to park it down the same street where Mr Hit & Run thought it would be a good idea to collide with the driver's side of the car before speeding off. There are no observant people around these days - a chap did write the reg. number down of the offender but he got a digit wrong and, alas, Humberside Police have failed to work out what that license plate shoulda woulda coulda been. So, a nice hefty excess payment later, I can now drive my own car again whilst worrying how much the premium will increase. I will fly into a rage should anyone come within six foot of the freshly re-sprayed parts. The car is still unwell - there is a nasty stone chip in the windscreen, and the scratch that someone who failed to give way at a roundabout kindly gave me is still there on the rear. You'd think repair centres would be nice enough to see to the odd chip and scratch while they had all that correctly matched paint at their disposal. But, no, they don't. Myself and GTP are off to check out a couple of other venues for the play this afternoon so that the run can be extended.

My love of Jean-Christophe Novelli Clouseau diminished somewhat yesterday when, in a move that no doubt appalled the Health & Safety Executive, he hurled a plate into oblivion before causing an inordinate amount of hefty stainless steel ladels to come crashing down from the ceiling. Hell's Kitchen took a serious turn for the worst too last night when it became apparent to us that Timmy Mallett was scoffing in the restaurant. So, in protest, I only watched the main show, followed by Hell's Kitchen Extra on ITV2 and an hour-long live effort. Gary Rhodes keeps complaining that the lack of quality food is damaging his reputation. He might want to address the way he's acting like a complete penis, which is much more damaging to a man's reputation than an undercooked fillet of fish could ever be. I wish I'd been down the opera, ballet or to some fancy art exhibition. But no, I watch the telly these days. And it rocks (The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives tonight!!!). We noticed that the 'ordinary' people they've amassed for Hell's Kitchen's culinary bootcamp all seem to share personalities with the bunch of celebs they had in last year - Stein is Al Murray, Henry, who's been slung out, and Simon, who's still in, are a two-man tag team version of James Dreyfus, Abi is a weird hybrid of Abi Titmuss and Jennifer Ellison, that old bird who keeps mumbling indecipherably in Rhodes' general direction (Caroline) is Edwina Currie while Aaron is Amanda Barrie. Or Matt Goss. Terry is a geordie Roger Cook (hastily thrown in for no apparent reason spoiler with no room for escape: The Red Team lose tonight). Kellie, keen viewers will already be aware, is Kathy Burke (who wasn't, I hasten to add, in Hell's Kitchen last year). I look forward to your direction of Kosher Harry in the middle of the restaurant. The smart money should be placed on Gary. But not Sam, who, as yet, has done nothing. No reports yet on the wire of Timmy Mallett being struck down by food poisoning. Shame.

Eating: Salad. Writing: Kicked Into Touch.

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