Life begins...

Great weekend, lots of ale and food and good company and presents, heck, much more than I bargained for. Including becoming the proud adoptive parent of Gyspy, a chimpanzee that resides at Monkey World in Dorset! I also got a solar powered airship that will carry me into the path of high voltage powerlines! And a kite that lights up! And the Python autobiography! And loads of other stuff. Indian food for birthday dinner was great, although sitting at the head of a large table was rather weird (I'm not cut out for these positions of power, methinks).
Hull Truck's Christmas party last night. Who were all those people? We knew just a few. But we're new to this world and nobody knows who we are either. Food was ok. Had far too much to drink. But, as an actor said, it was all rather like being at someone else's wedding.
Interviewed Roy Chubby Brown. Ooh, he's hilarious. "First face transplant last week? I don't fucking think so. My mother-in-law swapped her arse for her face 40 years ago". "I asked the wife what she was buying her mother for Christmas. A toaster. That's great, I said, I'll buy her a fucking slice of bread." Bernard Manning once said to him "where do you come from? Cos where I live even I couldn't say cunt." I wanted to hate him but I found myself liking him and his gravelly voice. The League of Gentlemen asked him if they could use his name way before they were famous. "I wish I'd asked the little bastards for some money now". "The thing is Dave, even if I wanted to I couldn't stop swearing," he went on. "They fucking expect it of me now. I opened the door for a lot of people. Now they're all at it. Bradley Walsh, Brian Conley, fucking Billy Pierce, the little bastard." Marvellous. Went in Music Zone a bit later and there was a woman looking for Chubby's new DVD King Thong. I soooo wanted to tell her who I'd just been talking to.