>>>>>Killing Time<<<<<

When your kids suddenly become internet savvy, you realise what peculiar times we're living in. Oldest child, the mandatory emo teenage daughter, spent all of her GCSE revision time this weekend developing her myspace account. Naturally, I tried to snoop and get the address so I could spy on her (the contemporary, and quite frankly harder on the eyes, version of reading her diaries) and the strange Hawthorne Heights-fuelled dark lifestyle she leads (which, when she's in her rural weekday home, involves annoying her mother by asking whether she can get her lip pierced, or acquire flesh holes in her ears and/or get a tattoo promoting My Chemical Romance. Attagirl). But, sadly, the url escapes me. I found myself warning her against the many weirdos that she may meet on the internet and not to physically meet/move to the United States with any/all of them. I could do this because, at work, I often hop through dozens of myspace sites, and I know that there are many weirdos out there. I am not one of them. Youngest son, the mandatory miserable child, spent his weekend monopolising my laptop, upon which I was supposed to be redrafting the play. He has designed his own website. Frankly, what's a 10-year-old want with a website? It appears to be an exercise in vanity. But I'm not interested in the minutiae of his life, as I'm too busy documenting that of my own. I have concerns about the mandatory troubled middle child. He spent all weekend reading books. Doesn't he realise this is the 21st century? Books are so last year, dude* (*that's an example of how 'down' I am with the kidz).