Attempting to splurge out some dialogue right now, which is a good excuse not to bother and, instead, turn to the blog.
M, for a long time the blog widow of the house, has made an exciting return to the blogosphere with her effort arewordsenough? She promises to update regularly, which will probably mean bi-annually if previous attempts are anything to go by. I fear for the house, though, and the cats - if the both of us spend 25 hours a day in front of our respective monitors then the vacuum and the cat litter trays won't be getting much of a look-in.
The Goodys (rather than the Goodies) seem to be shaking up the Big Brother house good and proper, easily seeing off enfant terrible Donny Tourrette and elder statesman and all round nut case Ken Russell. How long before someone shouts "gameplan" in the Goodys general direction? In fact, it's quite a good gameplan - just piss everyone off by asking Leo Sayer to bring clean napkins and not bothering to work out how to pronounce the other housemate's names and, eventually, they'll all fuck off. If I were working on Big Brother I would actually put the Goodies (pictured, with Jade Goody) in there with the Goodys. It's a close call as to which trio is the most annoying. Bill Oddie vs Jade - I think Oddie probably has it there, Graham Garden vs Jackiey - well, due to her inability to stem her bowel movements at night and the wasted "y" on the end of her name, the Jster has that one. So it comes down to Jade's boyfriend Jack Tweedy vs Tim Brooke Taylor. You remember Tim, he, or the Goodies version of him, used to bang on about the Queen, wear a union jack waistcoat and flounce around the set in a camp manner before it was fashionable. And Jack? Well, he doesn't talk so we may never know. So, for an inability to talk in a room full of Z-list celebs and putting their
over-inflated egos in place, I guess Jack is marginally more irritating to me. Perhaps the Goodies could dress up as the Goodys and vice versa and then the lot of them be forced to eat black pudding whilst riding a trandem before an oversized kitten is introduced to the house to eat them all. Which will no doubt make Shilpa burst into tears and wish her Man Friday and legion of housekeepers were there by her side and Jermaine Jackson embroider "help me" on his magical message jeans. Yes, Celeb Big Brother has snared me again. Lovely little vacant vessel Danielle to win. Or Bill Oddie.
Reading: William Gibson - Idoru. Listening: Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction.
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