Friday, March 02, 2007

Just an illusion...

So much to write but none of it on 'ere, unfortunately (am trying to leg it to the end of the play). Oh, yeah, The Illusionist. Sort of a 90-minute set up for a smug resolution, really (if you do get the chance to see it, check out the chief inspector's never-ending grin when he 'solves' the case in the hideously drawn out 'look how clever we are' final scene when lots of clues we never saw along the way are offered up in front of our very eyes). The film went off the boil when Edward Norton (M - "he's all right but he's got piggy eyes" Me - "I want him to hit himself a la Fight Club") disappeared at around the 70 minute mark, leaving us with a load of people we didn't much care for. But we didn't pay to get in, so maybe I should leave my criticism there and let the paying audience decide for themselves.

And talking of free stuff... Tonight am off to another Richard Bean homecoming - this time Toast, set in a Hull bread factory circa 1970s industrial action and sponsored by one of the city's few remaining employers Wm Jackson & Son. My dad worked for Wm Jackson & Son for over 30 years. So I know for certain what you've already guessed - that the Wm stands for William. They started off baking bread, built a quite decent supermarket empire in the north, then sold it all off and now bake bread. Such is the circle of life. Or the circle of bread [cake]. Or summat. Creatives at the venue have installed six bread-making machines in the auditorium to conjure up the familiar aroma of baking bread (ooh, it's all gone The Illusionist again. Will the odd member of staff masturbate bread machinewards to uphold the factory workers' urban myth?). As Wm Jackson is a mere two minutes straight line walk away from the theatre I'm sure a better way to have made the stench inhabit the auditorium would have been to get them to turn their ovens up to 11.


Anonymous said...

Why aren't you paying?

Richard Bean

Dave W said...

My reasons:

1) I'm skint.

2) I have an uncanny ability to blag my way into any event.

3) I was offered a free ticket and accepted.

4) Any loss of profit caused by giving me a 'free' ticket is offset by the amount I spend at the bar.

5) Actually, this isn't a reason at all. This is an appeal to you, Richard Bean. Can I have one of those nice Royal Court 50 mugs I've been hearing about? For free? I do love you, despite your east Hullness. x

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sure you can. What do you want? I've got TOAST, SUGAR SYNDROME, LOOK BACK IN ANGER (sorry I've only got one of those - so you can't), SHOPPING AND FUCKING, HYSTERIA, or HOME.

Best if I give you a TOAST one since I've got about ten of those.

I was born in Cottingham maternity hospital as a matter of fact, even though we were living off Lambwath Road at the time. So I was born on the west of the river, for what it's worth.

I support Hull FC mainly cos my dad supports Rovers - I've always been oppositional.

Lived next door to David Doyle-Davidson if your memory goes back that far.

I'll leave the mug with Gareth at Truck if you make your mind up. Only one, you've already had a quid off me in royalties unearned.

Richard Beans on Toast

Dave W said...

Cripes, Rich, I wasn't sure I was being serious about the mug. But I'd love one! You sure? I'd love to take a Toast one off your hands.
Well done re the Airlie Birds but born in a maternity hospital , you softy? I were born in me ma's bedroom down Albert Ave.
Thought Truck done your fine words proud, by the way.