Ce...leb...ri...ty...Ma...

Argh, bloody BBC iPlayer. Or maybe it's tonight's wi-fi broadband experience. Suffice to say that, as I sit here attempting to watch Celebrity MasterChef, my experience is ruined because it is only playing four syllables-worth of kitchen-based action at a time. And no wonder that David Platt went off the rails - his stepfather (otherwise known as the actor Sean Wilson) appears to have been buggering about perfecting his French food technique for several years.

Listening: Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend / Dizzee Rascal - That's Not My Name (Live Lounge)