Death by buttocks...

"I've often, when trapped in the mire of writing a play, with drafts on drafts half done or phonily completed and totally hopeless therefore, longed to murder myself, and violently, but I don't see how one could do it with an axe, how to get the leverage and balance required to swing the heavy blade in on oneself - except for the crotch, that would be the only easy target area - no, I've just tried it, stood with my legs apart and head down like a golfer, then swung a phantom axe upwards, and it turns out that the easiest slice would be right between the buttocks, and how would one guarantee that it would be fatal, and how attempt to explain it if one survived it?"

Simon Gray - The Last Cigarette