Hands free in every department...

Rather surreal experience in the toilets of a roadside cafe on the A17. I entered the gents and took up my position at one end of the urinals, quickly followed by an elderly chap who made something of a geriatric deal of unzipping then manhandling himself. Penis in hand and eventually pointing in the right direction, he said: "Now then chuck, how are you doing?" It wouldn't have been the first inappropriate conversation I'd had whilst urinating, although I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or was conversing with his member. It quickly became clear that it was neither; he was taking a phone call, hands free. "Just stopped off at a lovely little cafe near Holbeach. Been a smashing little break. I've got a sausage sandwich waiting for me..."