Social media began...

Social media? It seems to have been around forever to me. It was, perhaps, more exciting when it was illegal and involved lashing extremely long aerials to chimney stacks, taunting the authorities who didn't want us rampaging over their airwaves. In comparison, the internet seems a nice, safe place to be. Anyway, with apologies to Larkin and his popular toads...

Wonderful Year

Social media began
When I acquired my first CB
(which was rather early for me)
Between the start of senior school
And Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Ozz LP.

Up to then there'd only been
A spate of glue sniffing and
Copious amounts of masturbation,
A shame that started at thirteen
And spread to everything.

Then all at once the quarrel sank:
Everyone felt the same,
And every life became
A handle and chat
An indecipherable jargon-riddled game

So social media began
When I acquired my first CB
(which was enormous fun for me)
It allowed me to stalk the airwaves
And talk incessantly.