Voluptua...

An hour with performing arts students down at Hull College, followed by a few short hours trialling my new little netbook on the road (well, in a pub). I wrote a short film, the combination of an 'almost full-size keyboard', decent surroundings and a couple of lagers (optional). I am very enamoured with my netbook - it's the cheapest on the market but, as a portable writing device with wi-fi enabled, it's a damn fine thing.

As for Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, well, their recent phone calls to Manuel (don't call him that!) are nothing short of what I'd expect of those two. The bulk of the complaints all appear to have followed somewhat after the fact, prompted by the rage from a host of (Tory, BBC-knocking) media outlets who don't usually pay too much service to self censorship and self regulation. I wonder how many people have heard said audio? I have. At the time of writing it's available here. It's not very funny. It's pretty peurile. And they go on far, far too long with a tired and dull idea. But it's not, as the reports suggest, just Brand and Ross repeatedly stating that Brand has f***ed Manuel's (don't call him that!) granddaughter. At one point, Russell sings the news! Extremely upsetting to read on the outraged Daily Mail's website that the woman at the centre of all the fuss - Andrew Sachs' (yes! Call him that!) granddaughter Georgina Baillie - has cut short a European tour because of the public humiliation she has been subjected to. Poor thing. Georgina, who goes by the name Voluptua, was touring with a burlesque dance troupe that goes by the name of the Satanic Sluts performing, according to her myspace today, violent, horrific and sexy shows. Cripes. I might phone Manuel (don't call him that!) about that...